Good afternoon, dear visitors! My name is Dr Speckles, I am a professor of Aztec anthropology, recognized in scientific society for the outstanding monograph “Jaguar Warriors: the truth behind the spots”, and I welcome you in my gallery. The collection of idols and ritual masks you are about to explore is my pride and the apple of my eye, so please be very careful with the exhibits. I would kindly ask you to leave cucumbers and laser pointers at the entrance, the cardboard boxes you will see along are there for your convenience to sit & fit, and don’t forget to leave a plush mouse at the main altar. Once you finish the tour, a generous gift will appear right in front of you:
