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‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the hillsThe kinfolk were drinkin&’ and tending their stillsThe longjohns were hung by the chimney with careNo stockings were found, just underwearThe children were nestled so high in their bunksTheir quilts made of skins from rabbits and skunksGranny with her false teeth and gun on her kneeWas waiting for Santa as she sat by the treeFrom out of the barn there arose such a noiseWe thought it was Grandpa drinkin&’ with the boysBut what to my wandering eye should appearIt was just cousin Cleatus in mama&’s brassiereAnd then from the rooftop we heard it at lastLike the sound of thunder or a shot gun blastWe have Christmas dinner, it&’s finally hereGranny kidnapped Santa while we shot his deerVenison all covered with onions for stewAnd even old Santa enjoyed some tooHis belly was full when he walked out the doorBut he couldn&’t resist when we offered him moreWell that&’s the story of our Christmas hereMerry Christmas to all &’til the same time next year